Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Conservative Response to Those Who Would TAINT Saint Michele

Okay, so Michele Bachmann got a little confused and wished Elvis Presley a happy birthday on the anniversary of his death.
But the little conservative man on my shoulder (his name is Moe, I believe...) replies thusly:
"You liberals selectively apply 'truth standards' to deliberately play 'gotcha' with conservatives. Remember, Obama said he'd visited 57 states. So-called 'temporality,' like so-called 'science' is routinely applied selectively by liberals to mute God's higher truths, which are irreducible to the literalism of liberal academics. Also, Bachmann may have a low IQ, but that's meaningless, because 'IQ' is an artificial construct dreamed up by liberal 'social scientists' in order to justify things like eugenics and mandatory government-run education, which is the same as communist Nazism. Also, any attacks against Bachmann are, a priori, sexist. Finally, Bachmann is closer to God than you are, therefore, if she says today is Elvis's birthday, then it must be his birthday."

And that settles that.

"There is a higher truth!"

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