Wednesday, May 14, 2008

On "Abstain from McCain" and "Obama as Plague"

If one wanted to create, from whole cloth, a story illustrative of the Marxist critique of religion, they couldn't write one better than this. And it brings in so many other elements of cultural critique; it's like xmas for critical theorists. Obama is the devil's minion...the devil's sexy black minion, come to seduce our wives and daughters; he is the black plague, our punishment for deviating from traditional (white) values, established (white) governmental limits, the this-is-what-happens-when-you-don't-kill-enough-muslims candidate...but because they think they're going to lose to him, conservative christianity has to spin some theodicy out of it.

It's McCain's fault too. If he would only be more conservative. But...but then he'd lose even worse. No he wouldn't...God would see to it that he won, even if he received fewer votes than Obama. God would see to it because McCain would be on God's side: hating immigrants, laughing at poor people, secretly wishing we could build gay death camps, you know, Bush kind of stuff. Only God, you'll recall, could create more votes for Bush in some districts than there were citizens in those districts. Only God could give us Scalia.

But alas, it's not to be: There will be no divine intervention in favor of McCain, because he's a fence-sitter and doesn't talk the authentic apocalyptic code. So we're stuck with the plague, Obama. The
"-Wahabi RADICAL Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the westernworld Hussein downplay his Muslim background Koran plan on destroying the U.S. from the inside out one of their own Please forward to everyone you know You would think it is a cult, the way people follow him The Antichrist will be a man who can unite the world grew up in a Muslim family the man riding a "White Horse" with a crown on his head no one but the Father can say when the end is Satan always has to have someone at the ready to fill in the role Hitler gave good speeches too ex-crack-head gang member marxist a set-up by liberals and their media scary angry african american wife disgusting racket the start of a self-sacrificial, tribalistic, village economy that will surely bleed to its own death."*
I have something to say to anyone who thinks God chooses presidential candidates and Obama is a plague: Take a shoe and beat yourself in the ear with it as hard as you can, repeatedly. Seriously, God wants you to. He told me. Trust me, I'm white.

"Instead of comforting the people, who are full of cares and wearied by their hard lives, who go to church with faith in Christianity, the priests fulminate against the workers who are on strike, and against the opponents of the government; further, they exhort them to bear poverty and oppression with humility and patience. They turn the church and the pulpit into a place of political propaganda." (Rosa Luxemburg)

*consolodated from hundreds of blog comments, freeper posts, and other wacky paranoid anti-obama sites.

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